The Mill's Refer-A-Friend Drive - Win a Totally Sweet T-shirt!!!!!!!

I've got some exciting news. Please sit down. If you're already seated, please slouch, or sit on the floor. You'll need to be as low to the ground as possible in case you faint from all the hubbub. I also recommend you go ahead and lay pillows on the floor all around you. Additionally, use duct tape and styrofoam to cover the exposed corners of any furniture, doors, baseboards, radiators - anything that you could potentially strike your head on as you lose consciousness, your legs buckle, and you drop to the ground. Once you've adequately head-injury-proofed the room you're in, you may continue reading this post.............

I'm giving away free t-shirts!!! Of course, I can't possibly afford to simply give these things away without expecting something in return. I want you to refer your friends, families, co-workers, and friendly acquaintances to this blog. Here's the idea: You tell your people to visit my site, read some of my stuff, enjoy themselves, and leave a quick comment on this post. All they need to do is tell me who referred them, and maybe a "Hi, how ya doin'?" or something along those lines. At the end of the week, I'll count up all of the folks who commented, and whoever referred the most people will win a shirt of their choice. Here are some samples of the designs you'll have to choose from. Also, several other colors are available:

A shirt like this could be all yours. Just send your friends to my blog, and have them leave a comment at the end of this post telling me who referred them. Not kidding!

Disclaimers: The shirts are made out of cotton. Cotton is flammable and vulnerable to strong acid. They are hypoallergenic except to those allergic to cotton - if you're allergic to cotton, I can send you a poncho made from a plastic garbage bag, but it won't say anything on it. These shirts will not insulate your body from sub-freezing temperatures nor can they be worn in the depths of space. That being said, the shirts will wick away perspiration during light to moderate physical activity. White shirts will become see-through during periods of heavy rain or rowdy horseplay with a garden hose. Additionally, I should mention that brown gravy will stain all non-brown shirts, whereas mustard will stain all non-yellow shirts. If you stain a blue shirt with mustard, the stain will appear green. No refunds, exchanges, complaints, etc. It's a free shirt. What the hell do you expect?

Also, you'll have a choice of what you want the back of the shirt to read. Here are a couple examples, but I won't limit you to the following two choices. It's your shirt, after all.

If there's a tie, then I guess you'll each get shirts. I don't know. I reserve the right to hold some sort of tiebreaker, but it might be easier just to send out an extra shirt. Whatever.

I expect that you won't need to refer too many people in order to win, but the more the better. Also, each of the people whom you refer will receive a virtual hug from The Mill. This virtual hug will be fully clothed and purely platonic, so feel free to refer wives, girlfriends, husbands, boyfriends, sisters, brothers and grandparents. I do not discriminate.

I'll post results next week, on November 26th. If this succeeds, I'll be giving away a Hummer H2 next time! Or perhaps another t-shirt!