Apartment Hunt Part 2 – Role Reversal

Jaimi and I recently searched for, discovered, fretted over, completed a detailed cost-benefit analysis, threw that analysis out the window, and rented an apartment at the upper end of our price range in Brooklyn.

Mission accomplished. We’re moving in on March 31st.

But wait a minute. There’s another half of this pie left to be thrown.

My current lease doesn’t end until July 31st. And I can’t be paying two rents at once. No sir. Even if every single visitor to my site clicked on every single ad possible (which I’m not suggesting, especially if Google is monitoring me, as I suspect they are) I still wouldn’t get the approximately 6,000 clicks required per month in order to cover my current rent. I’d probably fall about 5,970 clicks short. And that’s assuming my Mom clicks on one ad every single day.

I wouldn’t put that kind of pressure on her. What kind of a son do you think I am?

So, that leaves me with part 2 of my apartment hunting experience – THE SUBLET.

It’s like I’m the landlord, and I’m searching for someone to rent my place. Well, it’s not LIKE that. It IS that. The tables are now turned.

It reminds me of another historical turning point: Remember when Robert E. Lee led his Army of Northern Virginia onto Union soil - and into the Battle of Gettysburg - only to have his men routed during three days of bloody fighting?

Before that battle, there was some question as to whether the Union could possibly stop the Confederate advance. Immediately following Gettysburg, the decimated Confederate fighting force turned tail and essentially began a retreat from which they would never return.

Lucky for us, the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor at about the same time, distracting everyone’s attention from the Civil War - including the French, who we were also fighting at the time. Thus began the Cold War. And Beatlemania.

Anyway, enough learning for today.

This second part of my mission is blocked by two major obstacles. First, I have a roommate who must sign off on any potential sublet. It’s not clear whether the approval process will involve: 1) a face-to-face interview, 2) a Greco-Roman style wrestling match, 3) a brownie bake-off, and/or 4) leeches.

All I’ve been told is that it will include at least 3 of the 4 items listed above. So you see how rigorous the application process might become.

Second problem is, I’m pretty fucking lazy.

I just don’t feel like posting ads every few days on Craigslist, returning phone calls and emails, and scheduling time for people to view the apartment. What a pain in the ass.

That being said, I’m going to do it. It’s certainly worth the time and effort, considering the alternative is landing a second job to pay for the second rent. And that’s really no alternative at all.

When would I find the time to write this blog?

Also, if you know someone who needs a nice, clean room in a 2-bedroom apartment in the East Village neighborhood of Manhattan from April 1st to July 31st (or any portion thereof) please let me know.