Never Too Sick For Beer

A little under the weather, but well enough to go on a brewery tour.

Jaimi and I visited Brooklyn Brewery this past weekend. It’s a well-loved microbrewery mere miles from our apartment. I’ve wanted to swing by and take a tour for quite a while. So although I’ve been coughing, sneezing, and generally hacking like a chainsaw, it seemed like the perfect day for a beer outing.

Jaimi doesn’t like beer. She never drinks the stuff - calls it unappetizing, bitter, “sorta nasty,” and all other kinds of names that would hurt beer’s feelings very, very much. So I won’t print them here.

But despite her natural aversion to beer - a highly-caloric, intoxicating, judgment-demolishing beverage often associated with frat boys and rowdy sports fans – she still made the suggestion that we visit the brewery.

It was pretty much the best idea I’d heard since Apple Computer stole the idea for the iPod from me.

Anyway, I was excited that she made the suggestion in the first place. And it promised to be quite an adventure – take the F train to the G train to the street to the brewery to the cup in my hand to the beer on my lips to the beer in my stomach to the urine in the appropriate receptacle.

Our quest was clear. The path was Mapquested (or Google Mapped) and we were on our way.

That’s most of the story right there. We made it to the brewery with plenty of time to spare before the last tour of the day. They have a nice, spacious beer room there, with 8 varieties on tap. I asked if I could bring a beer with me on the tour. They laughed – the answer was clear.

Beer selection at the on site beer tasting facility. 40 minutes didn't give me quite enough time to try all 8 varieties. I only had 6.

The tour began with a visit to the brewing room – a large cathedral-like space with about 6 or 7 giant stainless steel containers along the walls. These silver monsters, I would soon learn, are what hold the beer as it ferments.

That thing behind me has something to do with beer. Or it's where babies come from. The tour guide was speakng so fast.

The tour began with a brief history of the Brooklyn Brewery – who, when, why, etc. We learned that the guy who designed the logo for the brewery, is the same fine gentleman who came up with the iconic “I Love New York logo” – Milton Glaser. He did the work for a small equity stake in the company, along with a guaranteed lifetime supply of beer. Perhaps the best business deal ever struck.

After that, we learned a little bit about which canisters held what, and for how long. The place was closing early that day because of a private event, and it seemed clear that the tour guide – although very knowledgeable and enthusiastic – was hurrying things along a bit.

That was basically the end of the tour. But I still had 40 minutes left to drink beer.

As I sipped a nice Brooklyn Weisse, my cough began to calm, and my headache melted like a polar ice cap. What a fine visit to the brewery, indeed. And despite the abbreviated tour, I'm a big fan of Brooklyn Brewery. They really make some top notch stuff.

From the first cool sip, all parasites and invading microorganisms in my body are summarily executed by this flavorful India Pale Ale.

I learned two very important lessons from this trip to Brooklyn Brewery.

1) Jaimi is a selfless angel.
2) Beer cures headaches, coughs, and probably cancer.

What a marvelous pair of valuable lessons.

What did you learn this past weekend?