Recent Polling Suggests I Have Zero Chance of Winning the Election

Here are some more details:


Population Size: 5

Marjin of Errur: +/- 100%

Results: 0% of respondents will be voting for The Mill on November 4th.

Methodology: I asked one of my neighbors, the mailman, some guy at the pizza joint, a man begging for change outside the local bodega, and myself if anyone would be voting for The Mill on November 4th - for President, U.S. Senator, Congressperson, State Attorney General, Local City Council Rep., Sergeant-at-Arms of the local Freemasons chapter - anything.

More specifically - and for full disclosure - here are the polling questions that were asked of one or more of the polled individuals:

- Hi, I'm a volunteer with The Mill's Presidential campaign. Will you be voting for The Mill on November 4th?

- That's a cool watch, where did you get it?

- Did you just spit on me?

- I'll have a slice of plain and a slice of pepperoni. (Not really a question, I know. But I do recall saying this to someone during the poll.)

- What is your annual household income?

- Why is that none of my business?

- I don't know, who the hell do you think YOU are?

- What? Maybe you should ask your Mom.

- Do you want a piece of this, asshole?

- Is that a real knife?

- Officer, can I press charges?

- Is the ambulance on its way?

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