Oktoberfest – The Best German Idea Since the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle

The Uncertainty Principle is a pillar of modern physics, just as Oktoberfest is a pillar of modern beer drinking.

In quantum mechanics, the Uncertainty Principle states that one cannot simultaneously ascertain the precise location and precise speed of an electron. The more precisely one quantity is known, the less precisely the other quantity can be calculated. Likewise, during Oktoberfest, the more beer one drinks the less precisely one can know their own location.

Controversial East German waitresses use performance enhancers to allow for incredible feats of beer lifting strength.

I know that Werner Heisenberg – the famed Nazi sympathizer and Nazi physicist – first proposed the Uncertainty Principle back in 1929. I do not know who first came up with the idea for Oktoberfest – a 16-day festival revolving around beer and sausage – but whoever it was, their intellect rivaled that of the world’s greatest scientists, including Heisenberg. In fact, I’d argue that the dude who first proposed Oktoberfest was smarter than Heisenberg, or Niels Bohr, or Shaquille O’Neal.

I mean, it seems intuitive that it would be really tough to know the exact speed and location of some tiny-ass, super-fast little thing like an electron. But then again, the concept of Oktoberfest seems rather intuitive as well.

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